Holidays, in general, mean family time. Millions will return home to be with people who, in some cases, they spend little time and have even less in common with - except a shared genetic code. It should come as no surprise then that the Holidays rank as one of the most stressful times of year.
One particular familial quirk that might become apparent to you, loyal Celsias readers, is that your parents/grandparents/extended family might not care that much about the environment.
On a recent excursion home the realization that many of my family members either cared nothing for the environment or knew nothing about environmental issues hit me like a ton of bricks. I mean, I do write for a global warming blog, you would think they would take time to read my work. (sigh)
My personal problem morphed into a nagging question: What do you do when your family (especially your elders) don’t give a damn about the environment? They are your elders - we’re supposed to respect them, they’re supposed to be wise, and quite frankly always right. So what’s a person to do when they are single-handedly trying to destroy the world like a Bond villain?
Searching the Internet I discovered I was not alone. Chat rooms are filled with people lamenting familial disregard for the Earth. One poor girl was distraught because her parents have had 11 biological children and want more. They and their lack of care about overpopulation embarrassed her. Another lamented the fact that her parents did not believe in global warming at all and thought the “liberal media” made it up.
My problems seemed insignificant to these issue, but my frustration came from the fact that my family still did behaviors that you learned not to do in environmental stewardship 101 or a quick read through some of the blogs written by a close relative...
In my short visit I observed: a horrific paper towel habit, use of paper plates and all manner of disposable items, massive dependence on prepackage processed foods like diet items with artificial ingredients that should be relegated to scientific experiments, no knowledge of the damage caused by buying and consuming bottled water and an energy addiction that included, but was not limited to, a Siberian cold air conditioner setting, and half full loads of dishes and laundry.
If parents and grandparents say they love their children and would do anything to make their lives better, but refuse to do positive actions for the Earth they are leaving behind for said children does that make them hypocrites, liars or both?
Obviously, I had developed a complex in a short visit and it was time to bring in the professionals. I called my friend Jessica Jurkovich, a marriage and family therapist, and asked her how to deal with environmentally destructive parentals.
“If they fundamentally don’t believe that there is a problem with the environment and that they aren’t doing anything wrong you can’t change them. Arguing with them is only going to stress you out and cause anguish,” she said.
“So being passive aggressive and sending them environmental documentaries and books in the mail is not going to help?” I asked.
“No, your best bet is to alter the way you interact with them so you can feel comfortable. For example, if your mother can’t get over her paper towel addiction then replace her paper towels with recycled paper towels. Give them a water filter and reusable bottles as a gift. Volunteer to deal with the recycling. Go through the trash yourself. Maybe if they see it’s important to you, and that you’re passionate about it that will spark a change.”
Jessica advised me not to get into a heated discussion about the environment with people who don’t care. “Look, you’re not going to change them or their mind by arguing with them. You’re just going to upset yourself. Be an environmental role model and maybe they’ll catch on.”
Then Jessica and I segued into a discussion about the baby boom generation (our parents for the record) and if growing up during an age of scientific discovery and the new chemicals of convenience didn’t set them up to be the most wasteful generation. Like a true professional Jessica put it into perspective, “If we and the kids younger than us don’t get off our consumerism kick the most wasteful generation will end up being us. However, people do the best with what they are given.
How were the baby boomers supposed to know that pre-packaged frozen dinners, fast food, and even smoking were going to be future problems? They didn’t. And 100 years from now our ancestors will look back and say, ‘What were they thinking?’”
As a species humans do the best with the information and resources given. This holiday season do the best with what you’re given and try to be an environmental role model to your friends and family. It’s no use to talk the talk if you’re not willing to walk the walk. And remember it’s best to believe that every little positive thing you do counts, especially during the holidays.
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